i just want to draw tiny hearts everywhere because im full of love and the world is cruel
(via hohohomyass)
“ohhh wahhh the problem with building out america’s rail network is that nobody wants to live next to train tracks-” I DO BITCH!!!!!!!! #I<3INDUSTRIALNOISES #SEXWITHATRAIN
Please do not have sex with our trains they are late and you’ll get run over and wind up a pile of blood and guts in rural Pennsylvania
Do you enjoy ruining people’s dreams or what
I’m part of the US government
(via slopmaster9000)
DELETE THIS POST
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
*clicks play in morbid curiosity*
*hammers reblog button*
I think I find this post every April Fools Day and I am so happy that I do
WHAT THE FUCK
i missed it last year so i’ve had this scheduled for an entire damn year
Great, now I need to clean snorted water out of my keyboard.
(via sexiestchalupaever)
From Krag and Johnny Bear. Written / illustrated by Ernest Thompson Seton. 1902.
(via mako-wave)
the secret to life is to always use more spinach and less rice than you think you’ll need
the second secret to life is that fresh air warm sun and a cup of tea will make your problems small enough to start handling
the third secret to life is that violence sometimes really is the answer
(via mako-wave)
aren’t all rats technically “rat bastards.” i mean they don’t have a concept of marriage
post canceled i forgot that mr. ratburn got gay married. my apologies king
(via darkspawntaxcollectors)
im miss sugar pink liquor liquor lips im gonna be your bubba gump shrimp
(via tarje)
addicted to david byrne enormous suit
happy enormous suit sunday everyone
you know what day it is
enjoying another wonderful enormous suit sunday
hell yes
have a splendid enormous suit sunday everyone
suit as it ever was
oobh i got plany off suit
i got a big suit that’s better than that
happy enormous suit sunday once again
you may find yourself beneath the cloth of a large suit
sunday again
moon in the rock… rock in the moon….. theres a moon in my suit
happy sunday
suit suit.. little baby
enormous suit sunday
we are born without bigsuit…. born without sin
(via slopmaster9000)
i think minimum wage should be 800 dollars an hour plus the drug of your choice
(via sexiestchalupaever)
I see chuck tingle’s working up another bestseller
#i fully expect him to have a book with this exact title in the next five minutes#the devil works hard but chuck tingle works harder
(via valkyriegirl96)
making u a fucked up evil breakfast. call that gruel and unusual punishment
(via judgejudyofficial)
why do they call it extra virgin olive oil when it fucks so extremely
COW NAP COW NAP COW NAPS COW NAP
my name is Cow,
I like to rest
in grass or barn
or hay is best.
when hoomans see
how soft my lap,
they cannot help.
they join for nap.
(via captain-snark)